Sunday, February 21, 2010

Fragmented Frivolity

I have mentioned before that Jon does not appreciate the way I go about creating and delivering my blog entries. The other day, being the gentle critic he is, Jon gets more specific and informs me he does not like the fact he has to read a few of the sentences in my complex compositions more than once. He thinks my blogs are not written for the average reader. I need to consider the whole of my potential audience and make things less multifarious. A few seconds after taking in his advice I come up with the title Fragmented Frivolity. As I explain the concept of this current configuration to him, he grunts and exclaims, "Why can't you just write a normal blog?" The answer, of which I keep to myself, is surely obvious, "Because I don't want to; there is no fun in that." I, however, do choose to jab him a bit and say, "Type up your own accounts why don't you? I do not see any entries on your empty blog page." Jon chooses not to say much in return, because unlike me, he likes to keep things simple. I dedicate this entry to him, regardless of how he may feel about it. I promise to keep my sentences and paragraphs as short and sweet as possible. In other words, they are going to be quite fragmented compared to my usual seemingly endless amalgamation of terms and phrases.

Nevertheless, I have decided I cannot type a blog for you without creating some kind of challenge for myself. Repeat readers of my ramblings may remember me saying that I hate worrying about verb tense. However, for this occasion I plan step up to the plate and use proper prose. Simply stated, I plan to keep my verb tense consistent throughout my paragraphs and hope I can accomplish this self-imposed challenge. To be frank, I typically avoid using proper tense because it does not always feel appropriate to me. Personally, I feel it is my biggest flaw as far as my personal narrative skills are concerned. For example, in my first blog post I have a sentence that contains verbs making use of past, present, and future tenses. My case in point is as follows:

"In my younger years I had to work for almost everything I wanted, so it seems odd to me that I dream of having a full time maid, and that maybe one day when I have a job outside the home I will fulfill that dream."

Since I speak of the past first, the present second, and the future third, it seems logical to me to use the most fitting tense associated with that frame of time. I can only imagine the red strikes amid my carefully crafted composition in high school and/or college if I turn in a paper with all three verb tenses in one paragraph, let alone one sentence as I have done in the instance above. For good measure, I have corrected the sentence for you below:

"In my younger years I had to work for almost everything I wanted, so it seemed odd to me that I dreamt of having a full time maid, and that maybe one day when I had a job outside the home I would fulfill that dream."

Now, I presume that is simple enough to do and perhaps I can be more vigilant of such matters in upcoming entries, but I still believe the correct version sounds strange as I currently dream of having a maid, rather than having "dreamt" of one in the past. Thus, I am going to reiterate what I say in The Blog about Blogging, ". . . it's my blog damn it, and I'll do it however I want . . . ." So, while I may try to tackle the task of appropriate tense occasionally, don't expect such careful caution in the future.

Are you bored yet? I am. From here I am going to say if you are not a lover of literature and/or do not write yourself, this is one blog I implore you to stop reading, as I am sure you are going to find this more disparaging than I do. If you do stop, I promise something far more entertaining next time, so please come back. Nonetheless, I need to get back to my point at hand, that being my extremely long sentences . . . .

I am fascinated with punctuation, and as such adore the art of a well written compound-complex sentence. I like to write my sentences long, with lots of commas, ellipses, and some semi-colons here and there too. I am enthralled with literary techniques in general. I love using alliteration. For those not in the know, alliteration is, "the repetition of consonants at the beginning of two or more words immediately succeeding each other." The perfect example is that of my title, Fragmented Frivolity. Additionally, I enjoy using metaphors and similes, which are akin but different. Metaphors are "the use of a word or phrase to refer to something that it isn't, implying a similarity between the word or phrase used and the thing described, and without the words 'like' or 'as'." Similes, on the other hand, are "a figure of speech in which one thing is compared to another, generally using like or as." I joke about using metaphors in a previous post, but in most cases I'm actually using similes. If you are still reading this I'm sure you are already privy to the information I have provided for you and aware of my past misnomers.

Before concluding this mind-numbing, yet somewhat informational statement, I cannot go without expressing the literary technique I desire to use most often is that of employing new words. I cannot stand to see the same vocalization more than a couple of times in close proximity with each other. I use an online thesaurus regularly. I have in fact learned many new words from a thesaurus, but the latest term I have come to love has presented itself to me while reading a book about my favorite author and her remarkable series of novels (of which I will eventually speak, but not today). The term is logophile, the definition being "one who loves words; a word buff". I have come across said definition at http://www.allwords.com/. Microsoft Word, apparently, does not include the term in it its glossary as I stare at the wiggly red line that is under my newest favorite word. According to the aforesaid website, this very term defining someone's adoration of vocabulary has often been difficult to find in any standard dictionary. My Random House Webster's College Dictionary, conversely, does have it. Now, to call myself a logophile is a strong statement. Nonetheless, I have my favorite terms, some that you may see repeatedly amongst my posts. Such recurring offenders you may notice are aforementioned, said (as in said definition), indeed, privy, seemingly, and ramblings. Then there are words for which I am simply besotted but do not use as frequently, a few of them being dichotomy, befuddlement, pestilence, unmitigated, modish, insurmountable, amalgamation, multifarious, smitten, and most apparently in this collaboration frivolity and besotted. Being the neurotic writer I am, I have considered typing out all the definitions of these beloved words for you. At this point though, if you are still reading this incredibly dull post, I am sure you already know the definitions of said words or are at very least willing to look them up for yourself. If need be, good source for you to use is http://www.allwords.com/, and is the source from which I obtained all definitions for this blog. If you are so inclined to do the research, have a happy educational moment.

To those who stuck it out, bless your heart for hanging in there, for I am sure this has been as painful for you to read as it has been for me to write. Here's to me ignoring Jon's advice next time around and making my next post far more fascinating than this one.

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